Saturday, December 12, 2009

Letter to EmmaLee


My dearest little girl,

Tomorrow you would be eight. As I envision what might have been, I see us excitedly getting ready for your big day. Your grandmas are here, and your beautiful white dress is all ready and waiting. You are beautiful and full of fun, a joy to all who know you. We are all happy and enjoying our time together.

Instead, today, I got the chance to attend someone else's baptism, and I couldn't go. I was filled with sadness as I knew that this is just one more thing that I don't get to do with you. Everywhere I look, I seem to see children that would be your age, and wonder what you would be like; what you are like now. Are you happy, do you see your grandpas, and do they take care of you or is it the other way around? Did you get to know your sisters before they were born, or is that just one more thing that we won't get to do on this side? Do you get to look in on us from time to time - do you think of me? And one more thing, why doesn't heaven have facebook? ;)

We have tried every year to make your birthday a celebration of you. We do something fun as a family, and remember the fun things we did with you for the short time you were with us. Tomorrow is Sunday, so this year it is going to be a quiet day doing our usual Sunday things. I am eternally grateful for the gospel, because of it, I still have you, no matter what. I just wish, well, I wish a lot of things that aren't to be at this time. Just know that I think of you so often, my beautiful girl. I am trying to teach your sisters about you, so that they will know you like I know you when we are all together again. I love you so much, and miss all the things that we should be doing together. My one wish for you this year is that you are happy, as you always were.

Love, Mom

8 comments:

Big Booty Bertha and Flabby Fanny Farrah said...

Carene, I LOVE YOU! I miss Emm too. I saw her bday on my calendar the other day and wondered if it had been that long already since she left us. Life's about changing nothing ever stays the same :( But one thing that does stay the same is the plan of salvation and families staying together forever. I'm glad you are part of my family and we can be with Emmalee again. Love you.

Burton Family said...

{{BIG BIG HUGS}}
What a special letter. You are such a wonderful mom. I love your thoughts on heaven having facebook, made me smile through the tears. Happy Birthday, EmmaLee!!

The Emmett's said...

I have been thinking of this birthday and your family a lot lately. I have two nieces that are within 2 months of Emmy age and when I see what they are doing I always imagine what Emmy would have been like. We love you all..

Jami said...

I was wondering just Saturday what she looked like... yep, she's a Weinand. ;) I'm sorry you had a hard day that day. I thought about you all day yesterday and hoped you were remembering the happy things. I'm glad you're all a part of our lives and that I'm the lucky one who gets to watch your sweet girls. :)

Marshall Family said...

You have also been in my thoughts ;) I can only imagine how you are feeling - but Thank you for sharing your beautiful letter with us and what a cute picture of that cute angel! We were all blessed to know EmmaLee. We love you all and miss you!

VikiViki said...

This month has been a crazy whirlwind with our move - and I am just now getting back online and checking out the blog posts I've missed - and I am so moved by this letter to Emmalee. You are an amazing person and she is lucky to have you as a mother, it will be so joyous to reunite. Heaven really should have facebook. Love and hugs and a Merry Christmas to you all.

Cordell and Karen said...

That was very nice, I hope your heart continues to heal...you are yours are important to me, be safe and know we think of you....

Young Family Adventures said...

I am just blog hopping & catching up on everyone's posts... This is a beautiful letter!! I can only imagine how your heart hurts & goes through the phases of every milestone children go through or approach. I have a nephew who was to be born 3 weeks before my 3rd child... then I miscarried. I watch him all the time & think many of these thoughts you have had. What would have been & what would that child have been like. I appreciate your willingness to share something so personal & tender with us!! You are awesome & wonderful!!! :) {{HUGS}}

I totally loved your FB comment... SO TRUE!!!